To my iphone thief

To the person that stole my phone last night:

• I'm sorry you're such an asshole and *("&*£&(*£($%&£*($Q"£&("*&$%£*$%£&$ BEEP BEEP BEEP!!!!!!!!!!
• I'm sorry you had to resort to stealing a cracked Iphone that probably means nothing to you.
• I'm sorry you didn't have a stable upbringing and a loving mom to tell you that stealing is bad and that karma is a bitch.
• I'm sorry you'll always have to lie, cheat, and steal your way to a half decent life.
• Finally, I think I'm going to forgive you now because I'll have a shiny new phone in a few days and you'll always have to get by by stealing other people's hard earned things and for that I AM truly sorry. I hope one day you'll become a better man...

The end :)